She is Not Coping, Now What?

When we
first find out that our children are struggling, our greatest concern becomes
about helping them to not struggle any more. This is what parents are designed
for, we are there to raise our children so that they may have a beautiful life
and an easy life.

So when
the school finally talks to you about your son or daughter not being able to
pass and worse, that they must look at attending a remedial school, we go into
a state of panic. How could they? Why did they not say anything earlier?

As we
come to grips with not being ‘allowed back in’ we start a grieving process.

When our
children are battling the first thing we must understand is that we begin a
very real grieving process. Typically mothers feel it first as they rush to
protect their young. Fathers lag behind as they try to process what this means
and often get stuck in denial.

Your
process will start with denial, and this is maybe why schools like us only get
to see half of the children when they are already 10 years old. Then you enter
into the anger phase, the part when you fight with everyone about why, why, why
and how could you… Once you have offended everyone at your current school
(been there, done that) and now need to leave, you enter into the bargaining
stage. As you start to look at options and possibilities within the current
school you find them shutting down and shipping you off.

You’re
almost done now but you must first go through a depression of sorts, a time
when you start to look at how this could have happened and what you are
supposed to do about it now.

If you
have been lucky enough to pass through all of these phases you reach the other
side and find acceptance. But it is not what you thought it would be and you
may jump back into the cycle again until to reach real acceptance.

When you
find that, you are ready to find the solution. Don’t mistake acceptance with
apathy or resignation, in fact it is quite the opposite. When you know what is,
you can find the what if’s. Don’t let anyone tell you there is no hope. Search
for what is good and right and matches your view of the future and then commit.
Commit wholeheartedly and never give up, it is all worth it!

Real
acceptance, I think, is when you realise what education is really about and you
start on the journey of discovery where your child finds strength, skills,
abilities, self-esteem and success. At Omatas we think of success in a long
term way, we are working with kids now in primary phases so that they can go to
university. We are primarily concerned with building children with a strong
self-esteem and an independent mind. We believe more in building weak areas
than we do in building compensations. We believe in building a listener driven
society where children chose to bring themselves to the classroom, be active
participants in their education.

When
education is alive and purposeful we develop in to so much more!

Author: Lauren Edmunds – Copyright

Posted in

Lauren Edmunds

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