I am reminded of the old joke… I just flew in from California, and boy, are my arms tired!
It was first told in 1948. And it is now usually told to show off a bad joke.
But this is no joke, and boy, can many moms around the world relate as they continue to pilot that helicopter.
You can land that helicopter.
And, no, your kids don’t need you that much. You may be the distraction causing them to fail.
I have piloted that helicopter and I have landed it. I hope I have some wisdom for you.
I took flight because my daughter was failing, she had medical concerns and her self-esteem was rock bottom and she was only 8 years old. I flew that helicopter above her head because the world seemed too harsh for her and too much for her to be able to grow and learn.
I so wanted a teacher to be at my side, making sure that I didn’t need to be in that cockpit. But I couldn’t find one, so I became one. I am now the teacher that helps you to land the helicopter.
I see it like this, we hover and protect because we are hard wired to as moms. But when we become their voice, their answers, their protection at every turn and their self-talk then we have been doing it for too long and we have flown too close.
In order to land the helicopter we need to trust.
- We need to trust our children, that they will be okay.
- We need to trust ourselves, that we will be there as soon as they REALLY need us.
- If they fall, they can get up and come to get help from you. We do not need to pick them up.
- If they are hurt, they can come to us and get comfort and help on what to do next. We do not need to do it for them.
- If they need to make a choice, we can help them to come up with the choices and then decide on one to try.
- If they try something, they can come to us and tell us how it went and we can affirm their bravery and their kindness and any other trait we want to grow in them.
- If what they did didn’t work we can explore what went wrong and then we can be okay with that and help them to choose again, for themselves.
In doing all of this, we help them to grow and learn and mature. We teach them to be good and kind and brave and strong and gentle and to believe in themselves.
You took to the skies to protect them. You have done well. But you cannot keep this up, you can land, I did!