They are already trying so hard.

There are many children today who are not getting the help that they need.

They are putting in their very BEST and very MOST effort and nothing is working…and then the worst thing happens, someone calls them lazy or naughty or tells them they are not trying hard enough.

Only that’s not the case. Children are designed to learn. If they are not then something is preventing it.

When we run out of ideas to help a child who is battling, it is us that needs to change. This is where our work starts.

Even medical and therapeutic models of remediation are limited and in many cases become the ceiling for the child. So what else? There are so many other things that can be done. 

If they are not succeeding, by whatever measure, then they need some help trying in different ways. Let’s start first by changing ourselves.

Try this…spend a few days just watching.

Observe your child without interfering at all.

Notice what they do when things get hard. Notice what they do when things are easy. Notice how they respond to different people or subjects or requests. Notice without stepping in to help. Notice your own emotions when things happen.

What makes YOU anxious, angry, frustrated, relaxed, curious? What makes YOU want to help? How do YOU regulate yourself?

Spend some time with this, no changing, only noticing.

By doing this, by observing with the intent to gather information, to know more, you are beginning the process of changing what is not working.

And you are starting with the only person you really have any control over to change – YOU!

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Lauren Edmunds

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